I was a camp counselor during college. Since I was in college for nearly ten years, I gained a lot of experience as a counselor. Working at camps taught me some important life skills that I was able to use the rest of my career. As a camp counselor, you have to be up and energized and enthusiastic about everything every day. Picking up rocks off the hillside as a cabin? Super fun! Fantastic! Hiking through the woods on a rainy day? What an adventure! Campers not getting along? Figure out what they like about each other!
One of my tricks to deal with a cabin of girls who didn't get along was to have them do an exercise. The exercise was to sit down one afternoon and write down 10 things at least they liked about every other girl in the cabin. They couldn't be superficial things like, "her hair is pretty, she is skinny, she is tall." The items had to be real things that were only about the person. The girls really took it seriously. Why? They wanted to hear the nice things everyone else said about them, too. When the girls were done with their lists, they would hand them in to me, and I would make a separate list for every girl in the cabin. I later learned that many of the girls kept those lists for years, looking back at them often to remember just what everyone thought was so wonderful about them.
As I advanced in my career, I used the same method in the work environment when I had work teams who couldn't get along or who thought processes were failing. Sometimes, at work, we get so caught up in thinking about all the things that are going wrong, we forget to acknowledge what is going right. I used the same method as a faculty member, as well, when teams simply seemed unable to gel.
Why does this method work? The answer is basic. We all want to feel accepted and acknowledged. We want to be validated for some good traits, and we like to hear good things about ourselves. Moreover, it's easy to get caught up in the negative narrative not only from our coworkers or superiors, but the negative narrative that is playing in our heads. That negative narrative may be years old and may include all the things we were ever told about ourselves that seemed to stick. Sometimes, we feel like that is all we hear. It's nice to be told, "Hey, I think you're awesome, and here's why" by someone you spend time with every day.
By singing someone's praises, you aren't only making them feel better about themselves. You start feeling better about them. Have you ever had a coworker that you thought didn't pull their weight on the work team or never seemed to have their work on time? Was there ever someone you wished you didn't have to work with in a work group or team? If you make a list of that person's redeeming qualities, there might be something about them you find you do like. The woman you find too laid back at work may be because you wish you could be more laid back yourself. She also may not do the best job, but she smiles at everyone every day at work. She may be the one who makes you feel good about yourself by saying she wishes she could be more like you.
I am a firm believer that there is something good in everyone. If you can't find something good in a coworker, look deeper. Perhaps, your feelings about that person are overshadowing their positive qualities. When you sing someone's praises (things that are only about them), you can see how they benefit your world and the world around you. You may even notice that they are a better member of your work team than you ever imagined. Plus, you will make them feel better, too.
One of my tricks to deal with a cabin of girls who didn't get along was to have them do an exercise. The exercise was to sit down one afternoon and write down 10 things at least they liked about every other girl in the cabin. They couldn't be superficial things like, "her hair is pretty, she is skinny, she is tall." The items had to be real things that were only about the person. The girls really took it seriously. Why? They wanted to hear the nice things everyone else said about them, too. When the girls were done with their lists, they would hand them in to me, and I would make a separate list for every girl in the cabin. I later learned that many of the girls kept those lists for years, looking back at them often to remember just what everyone thought was so wonderful about them.
As I advanced in my career, I used the same method in the work environment when I had work teams who couldn't get along or who thought processes were failing. Sometimes, at work, we get so caught up in thinking about all the things that are going wrong, we forget to acknowledge what is going right. I used the same method as a faculty member, as well, when teams simply seemed unable to gel.
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| Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com |
Why does this method work? The answer is basic. We all want to feel accepted and acknowledged. We want to be validated for some good traits, and we like to hear good things about ourselves. Moreover, it's easy to get caught up in the negative narrative not only from our coworkers or superiors, but the negative narrative that is playing in our heads. That negative narrative may be years old and may include all the things we were ever told about ourselves that seemed to stick. Sometimes, we feel like that is all we hear. It's nice to be told, "Hey, I think you're awesome, and here's why" by someone you spend time with every day.
By singing someone's praises, you aren't only making them feel better about themselves. You start feeling better about them. Have you ever had a coworker that you thought didn't pull their weight on the work team or never seemed to have their work on time? Was there ever someone you wished you didn't have to work with in a work group or team? If you make a list of that person's redeeming qualities, there might be something about them you find you do like. The woman you find too laid back at work may be because you wish you could be more laid back yourself. She also may not do the best job, but she smiles at everyone every day at work. She may be the one who makes you feel good about yourself by saying she wishes she could be more like you.
I am a firm believer that there is something good in everyone. If you can't find something good in a coworker, look deeper. Perhaps, your feelings about that person are overshadowing their positive qualities. When you sing someone's praises (things that are only about them), you can see how they benefit your world and the world around you. You may even notice that they are a better member of your work team than you ever imagined. Plus, you will make them feel better, too.
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