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An Ounce of Suicide Prevention


Several years ago, two young boys committed suicide in the city where I lived. They were friends, and their deaths were only a year or so apart. The boys reportedly were bullied at school repeatedly and told to "go kill yourself." The part that I found most disturbing that eventually came out in the case was that the bullies also told these boys how to kill themselves. As someone who had worked in healthcare for almost two decades at that point and who had worked with special needs children and families, I was devastated and deeply saddened. I recall mentioning this case to a young person in my household who was the same age as these boys. His response was, "They weren't friends of mine, so it doesn't matter." I'm pretty sure my head spun around and nearly popped off my body at that point. I wondered how we had children in our community who valued life so little that "it doesn't matter" was deemed an acceptable response. I was further disturbed by how and why children felt a need or a right to tell other children that they should "go kill" themselves and, even more disturbing, told them how to do it. The families sued the school district and the bullies and settled out of court. The district improved its anti-bullying policies and education. The childhood bullies walked away and went on to be college students and get married and even have children of their own. The only consequences they faced for their actions was a guilty conscience. 

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death. I currently live in the state of Idaho, and the suicide rate here is the seventh most common cause of death. The state is in the top five for the highest suicide rates in the nation. In fact, a statewide initiative regarding suicide prevention has put and kept this topic on my radar. Teens and young adults are nearly two and half times more likely to commit suicide than any other age group. The most common method used for suicide is the firearm. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data show that suicide is the second leading cause of death for individuals ages 10-34. Unintentional injury is the leading cause of death in that age group. From 1999 to 2019, suicide rates increased by 33%. Data does not currently exist to determine if there was an increase in suicide rates during the pandemic. Early findings from the Brookings Institute suggest that the pandemic has had a more significant mental health impact on individuals of lower socioeconomic status. An increase in suicidal rates or ideologies may have occurred in that group. 

Image by Goran Horvat from Pixabay 


This issue is close to my heart for many reasons. Individuals close to me made successful and unsuccessful suicide attempts. Because of the responsibilities in my job, I spent a considerable amount of time processing death reports and identifying those who were deceased. I particularly remember spending days trying to find information on a John Doe who died on arrival to the emergency department. I involved 20 people at least in identifying this person, but to no avail. Still, to me, a complete stranger, his life mattered. His life mattered to those 20 people who assisted me in identifying him.

I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that I actually have had people tell me, "go kill yourself" on more than one occasion. Needless to say, I'm not a fan of that particular individual, particularly after they made up another lie falsely claiming I tried to kill myself by jumping off a bridge in Boston. Fortunately for me, my dad and my brother didn't believe that lie. My brother said, "She is too chicken to do that." He was exactly right. I am. I would never climb a bridge and jump from it because I would be terrified to do so. The individual who told me to "go kill yourself," has done so repeatedly over the years. Interestingly, that person has also demanded that I grant them respect for everything in their life. I'm sorry, but I refuse to grant respect to someone who refuses to respect the very sanctity of my life or anyone else's. I consider that behavior intolerable, despicable, and cruel. Thankfully, I do not suffer from clinical depression or any kind of depression, so all that person's comments did was make me think they were a jerk and definitely not someone I wanted in my life. 

To me, telling someone to "go kill yourself" is one of the worst things you can do. Because you have no idea if the person will act on it or not. As an ounce of suicide prevention, let's find a way to put a stop to people telling others to "go kill yourself." That seems like a pretty simple thing to do as a courtesy to the other human beings on the planet. 

If you are in distress or need assistance, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24 hours a day,  7 days a week. The number is 1-800-273-8255. There are also services available in your area. 



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