by Jeanette R. Harrison
It's early morning, and I’m making my coffee before work. I’ve already walked my dog and fed her. My mind is in work mode as soon as my alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m. Some days, I wake up before my alarm even goes off. I go over my plans for the day in my head and ask myself if what I’ve set out to do is actually realistic.
Life is challenging when you have to do everything yourself. From running my business to managing my household, every task falls on me. No one takes out the trash for me. No one cooks dinner, cleans my home, or even brings me a cup of coffee. If I need something done, I have to pay someone to do it—and I don’t have buckets of money.
As I get ready, I’m also thinking about how much time I have before my Uber driver arrives to take me to work. That, too, is stressful—trying to find the “sweet spot” for a decent fare, wondering if the driver will take the right route, and hoping I’ll make it on time. Not having transportation has become a major sore spot for me because it’s one area of my life where I really do need help.
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When you are struggling, you must take at least a few moments a day to find joy. Even if that joy is as simple as a prayer or a cup of coffee. |
When someone asks, “How can I help you?” and the person answers honestly about one specific need, that’s usually because that’s the area of their greatest struggle. As Dave Ramsey and most financial planners will tell you, everyone needs to secure the four walls of budgeting: food, transportation, shelter, and utilities. These are the absolute essentials for survival and stability.
But what happens when you don’t have the money for all four? And worse, what happens when people alienate, isolate, and emotionally abuse you for lacking one of them?
The four walls are not luxuries—they’re human necessities. Without them, your foundation crumbles. Telling someone their need for transportation, food, or a roof over their head isn’t your problem is not just dismissive—it’s cruel. It’s essentially saying, “You don’t deserve to meet your basic needs.” That kind of indifference deepens someone’s struggle instead of easing it. When people deny others help with their four walls, they aren’t building resilience—they’re inflicting harm.
Equally painful is when someone who’s struggling reaches out for help and is told to “just go on assistance.” That statement may sound practical on the surface, but it’s actually emotionally and psychologically abusive. It dismisses the person’s dignity, effort, and humanity. It assumes they haven’t already exhausted every option. It strips away empathy and replaces it with judgment. People who ask friends or family for help aren’t looking for a handout—they’re looking for connection, compassion, and a sense of community. Telling them to “just go on assistance” is another way of saying, “Your needs make me uncomfortable, so I’ll distance myself instead of caring.”
I’ve been in Idaho for over five years, and I’ve felt that alienation deeply. I’ve had people tell others not to help me with rides or transportation. I’ve had people say they wouldn’t even talk to me if I didn’t have a car. That seems to be their answer for everything. Don't have a job? We won’t talk to you or go to coffee with you. Don’t have money for food? Not our problem. Don’t have a car? We won’t talk to you. They aren’t helping with the problem—they’re making it worse.
When I mentioned that I wanted to save more for a down payment, I received negative feedback as well—people saying I wouldn’t be able to do it or that it was unrealistic. But I’ve learned something important: you have to believe you can achieve your goals before anyone else will. Self-belief is the first step toward any success. The moment you decide you can do it, you begin to attract opportunities, ideas, and solutions that support that belief.
So today’s gratitude practice is about taking a problem—like not having a car—and being grateful for both the problem and its perfect resolution. Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means trusting that even your struggles are moving you toward something better.
The Best Thing That Happened Today
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I had a really pleasant weekend spending time with my dog and getting work done at home.
10 Things I Am Grateful for the Problem
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I am grateful I have learned more about ridesharing and pricing.
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I am grateful for friends who have helped me pay for rides when I’ve needed them.
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I am grateful that ridesharing is an option that allows me to get to work even after being transferred.
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I am grateful that I am still able to find transportation to the places I need to go.
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I am grateful for all the cars I’ve had in the past, and I know I will have another car again.
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I am grateful that I learned how some people who claimed to be my friends were actually isolating and emotionally abusive.
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I am grateful for all the people who have supported me by giving me ideas for getting rides and finding a car.
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I am grateful for the friends who remain my friends, even though I don’t have a car, and who don’t judge me for it.
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I am grateful that I have more time at home because I can’t spend it driving around.
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I am grateful that I’ve enjoyed many walks because I didn’t have a car, and walking is good for my health.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the perfect resolution!
10 Things I Am Grateful for Today
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I am grateful for my laptop that allows me to work from home.
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I am grateful for my time management skills that help me get so much done before work.
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I am grateful for my alarm that wakes me up in the morning.
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I am grateful that I have a job to go to today.
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I am grateful for every day I get to spend with my dog.
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I am grateful for my home, where I’ve lived for over five years.
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I am grateful that I have a full refrigerator and pantry.
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I am grateful for the brands that send me items to promote.
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I am grateful that I have sold over 500 books.
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I am grateful for friends who know I am more than just my “problems.”
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