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Hope, Help, and Hard Days

by Jeaneette R. Harrison, MPH

The other day, someone texted me and said I was “doing great.” I know they meant well, but when you’re barely able to cover your basic bills and working in a job far below your qualifications, it doesn’t feel like “great.” A lot of the challenges I’m facing now stem from years of people minimizing my needs, making assumptions about what I “deserved,” and encouraging others to withhold even basic support. For a long time, I didn’t realize how deeply that affected me.

When I moved to Idaho, I met someone who finally showed me something different—what genuine friendship looks like. This person treated me with kindness, consistency, and respect. They helped me begin to understand that it’s normal for people to do kind things for one another. That friendship was the first time I truly saw that needing help isn’t a flaw, and accepting help doesn’t make you weak. It’s simply part of being human. Notably, that person did not attend my undergraduate institution. He was someone I met while living in Idaho. 

In contrast, there were people from my past who discouraged others from helping me, or who implied that struggling alone was some kind of “lesson” I needed. But refusing to help someone when they’re doing their absolute best isn’t motivating—it's cruel. It isolates people and reinforces shame. Humans are naturally interdependent. Every community, family, and friendship in the world is built on people sharing resources, information, time, support, and care. No one thrives alone.

How do I get through the hard times?
I find little moments of joy like walking out my front door
and being grateful for the spectacular beauty of fall. 

Expecting someone to repeatedly start over from nothing—financially, emotionally, or practically—is not a form of “teaching resilience.” It’s emotional and financial abuse. Stability requires support systems, and when you deny a person those supports, you create obstacles that most people would not be able to overcome. Even now, a significant portion of my income goes toward rent and transportation because I don’t have a car. By the time those are covered, there is very little left for food, healthcare, or basic daily needs. It isn’t mismanagement—it’s math.

Right now, a significant portion of my stress comes from the basic math of my life. Over 75% of my income goes to just two essentials: rent and transportation. My rent is $1,400 a month, and because I don’t have a car, I spend roughly $300 a week on rideshare just to get to work. That alone is more than many people realize.

When your income is around $800 a week, the numbers don’t stretch far. Once rent is due, there’s only a very small amount left for everything else — utilities, phone, subscriptions, groceries, healthcare, personal necessities, and any unexpected costs. If rent can’t be paid within three days of the month starting, there’s a $115 late fee, which adds to the pressure. There have been months when I managed to cover it fully and on time, but those months have been rare.

This isn’t mismanagement or irresponsibility. It’s what happens when the cost of simply getting to work and keeping a roof over your head consumes most of your income. And when you’re doing it alone, without a car, without a cushion, and without support, every small shift becomes a crisis and seemingly "bad luck." But, the actual bad luck is being the only one rowing in the storm. 

I’ve had months where I’ve tried everything I could think of to stay ahead, only to fall behind again because the cost of simply existing has outpaced my income. I’ve heard suggestions like “just buy a car,” but saving money is nearly impossible when over 75% of your income is taken by two essential needs. This is the reality many people face, but few talk about.

Still, even through the challenges, I continue practicing gratitude—not to dismiss what’s difficult, but to stay grounded in what is still good. And the truth is, despite everything, there are good things: people who have been kind, moments of grace, a friend who reminded me I deserve care, and the belief that things can get better.

The Best Thing That Happened to Me Today

  1. I saw my dog when I arrived home.

10 Unpaid Bills I Have That I Am Showing Gratitude For the Money to Pay

  1. Gas bill

  2. Electric bill

  3. Rent, rent, rent

  4. Student loan 1

  5. Student loan 2

  6. Medical bill

  7. Dental bill

  8. Personal loan 1

  9. Personal loan 2

  10. Business loan

10 Bills I Am Grateful I Had the Money to Pay

  1. Phone bill

  2. Subscription service

  3. Amazon Prime

  4. Grocery bill

  5. Rideshare bill

  6. Personal loan A

  7. Rent that has been paid

  8. Personal loan B

  9. Money for socializing

  10. Personal grooming

10 Things I Am Grateful for Today

  1. I am grateful for the chicken I ate for dinner.

  2. I am grateful I have a dishwasher and can clean and sanitize my dishes at home.

  3. I am grateful for the water dispenser at work.

  4. I am grateful I made it to and from work safely today.

  5. I am grateful for my coat that kept me warm.

  6. I am grateful for a friend who was very generous and kind to me.

  7. I am grateful for strangers who were like angels on earth toward me.

  8. I am grateful that I believe everything will work out okay.

  9. I am grateful for my faith and knowing that God is beside me every step of the way.

  10. I am grateful for my bed, where I can sleep comfortably.

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